As I shared last week, it can be so challenging to read scripture, story after story telling of the mighty moves of God, and yet not seeing that same power in our own lives. This is the narrative of our past six months. I would seek God, read his stories, pray all of the “right prayers” and yet externally very little seemed to be changing. Internally, however, my patience was growing. God was stretching my peace, helping me to seek him in all situations, choosing joy and thankfulness. God spoke words of trust and encouragement despite not much seeming to change.
God continually asked me to trust him, whispering to me, “My daughter, I have got this. Just trust me.” Oh, silly God! How much easier it is to trust You when things are going well! But now? Now when I’m sad and anxious and uncertain? Now when it feels like I’m never going to finish this masters degree nor are we ever going to own a home or pay off student loans or have anything but this crazy schedule and continual burnout? Well, yes. Yes, these are the times when our faith grows, our patience stretches, our trust blossoms. It is these seasons where our roots can grow deep, deep, deep, grabbing onto the truths even when we don’t feel like it.
Well, then God shows up and moves in a huge way. In May, Andrew applied for a technical support position at Church Community Builder, an amazing company based out of Colorado Springs. I wasn’t completely onboard with the position and move initially. We had talked about moving out of state since we got married five years ago, but they were mere daydreams of living in a different part of the country, one that wasn’t as crowded, expensive, or smoggy. But I was finally getting traction at school, almost done with my degree and actually feeling energized for new work, creative projects, and open doors. I was interviewing for a summer research position at my alma mater, Azusa Pacific University.
We had both applied to countless jobs over the past couple of years. This journey was quite different (well, obviously it was since he got the job!). Andrew sent in his application and was first contacted on a Sunday night to set up a time for an initial phone interview. The phone interview happened during his lunch break on Tuesday at which point they asked to set up a second Skype interview. The Skype interview happened during lunch on Wednesday followed by a skill set test that night and a promise that Andrew would hear back from them by the end of the week. On Friday morning, Andrew received a phone call from his would-be supervisor asking if he could fly out to Colorado the following week for some final, in-person interviews.
After months and months of waiting and praying and seeking and trusting, in less than two weeks Andrew was given multiple interviews, encouraging conversations, and positive affirmation that this was God’s will. Exactly two weeks after the initial point of contact, Andrew was on the phone officially accepting the new position and our life has changed drastically. But remember how I said when God moves, he moves in big ways? The same morning that Andrew accepted his new position at Church Community Builder in Colorado Springs, I was officially being offered a summer research assistant position at APU. Have I said it yet? After waiting for so long, God showed up and BAM! Mountains were moved. Jobs were offered. Doors were opened.
It’s funny because when what we had been praying and waiting and hoping for for many, many months actually happens, it was incredibly overwhelming at first. And yet as I told the story over and over in the following days, as we prayed and waited and trusted that God was at work, the only reason I could think to stay was “I’m comfortable”. I had taken up residency in my pain, in my anxiety, in my routine and stress and busyness. I had grown comfortable with the traffic, the constant running, even the comfort of consistently feeling uncertain and unsettled. Of course, there is the given sadness of saying goodbye to my family and friends, to a church community that I’ve spent the past ten years growing in. But really, the main point of hesitancy was the comfort I had found in the uncertainty and waiting. And yet God was saying to move, so moving we are!
// What’s the clearest direction you’ve received from God?